More random madness

Apparently, I'm not the only madman out on the internet with strange, ethereal ramblings issuing forth from the space between his ears. Who knew?

"In my personal opinion, Viagra is more of a curse than a blessing. Finally, FINALLY, you are no longer being controlled entirely by the motivation for sex in your old age; that's like the prime stressor in life just POOF! Gone! And you want it back? Are people NUTS?"
-The Yuka Takeuchi Fan, http://yukatakeuchifan.kiwibonga.com/

Forum thread contest from Alien Loves Predator (another oddball webcomic which you should go check out), where the winner would be the one with the best transcript of his/her conversation with a really old conversation program named Eliza, with this being the winning entry:

" >> Hello.
How do you do. Please state your problem.
>> I'm not the one with the problem, you are.
Is it because you are not the one with the problem that you came to me ?
>> yes remember I've been councilling you because you believe you are a therapist
You seem to be quite positive.
>> Well we've made excellent progress
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> that would be the haldol
Please go on.
>> it is stopping your delusions temporarily
Why are you concerned over my delusions temporarily ?
>> because you are mentally ill
Is that the real reason ?
>> You are a danger to others. Remember the scalpel incident?
What makes you think I am a danger to others ?
>> The occasion you drove a scalpel three inches into my leg and beat an orderly to death with his own shoes.
Your leg and beat an orderly to death with his own shoes ?
>> It was a dark day
Lets discuss further why your leg and beat an orderly to death with his own shoes .
>> no you are NOT the analyst. I am.
Are you saying no just to be negative?
>> Calm down or we will have to sedate you again
We were discussing you -- not me.
>> I am not the patient
How long have you been not the patient ?
>> I have always been the doctor
Can you think of a specific example ?
>> Right now I am the the doctor and you are the patient
Do you believe it is normal to be the the doctor and I are the patient ?
>> It is how it has been for months
Why do you ask ?
>> I'm not asking I'm telling
Do you enjoy being not asking you are telling ?
>> you really are trapped in your delusions aren't you?
Oh, I really are trapped in my delusions aren't I ?
>> Now don't get agitated
What does that suggest to you ?
>> that you should put down the table!
You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
>> NOOOOO
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> HAVE MERCY
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> MY BACK
Why do you say your back ?
>> Because you broke it
Don't any other reasons come to mind ?
>> I can't feel my legs
Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
>> HELP ME
Earlier you said your back .
>> (Pounding noises)
But your legs .
>> (sound of door being kicked in)
Please go on.
>> Put it DOWN
What does that suggest to you ?
>> MY EYES
Is it important that your eyes ?
>> WHY IS MY ARM BENDING LIKE THAT
In what way ?
>> NOT MY BALLS
Your balls ?
>> (moaning and the sound of wet footsteps)
But your eyes .
>> (breaking glass)
Lets discuss further why your balls .
>> (sirens)
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things?"
- http://alienlovespredator.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=981

In other news, I don't really want to know the results of the jap test I had because I've been hibernating and have no intention of stopping until the summer is over. Which, admittedly, will probably not happen until the polar ice caps melt and drown us all, but that's a minor technicality ^_^