Quotes for posterity, part 1

Tragedy: Not realising that today is a Public Holiday.....
Comedy: ....because every day is a Public Holiday for the unemployed.

And now for stuff that wasn't by me:

"Engineering is the art of doing that well with one dollar which any bungler can do with two" -- Arthur M. Wellington

"How is it even remotely possible to make things explode by punching them??"
"You're just jealous that you can't punch something hard enough that it would rather die in a fire than get hit again."

Do not be sad because of people. They will all die.